------- Tympani ------- This game is adapted to the annual "Jerry Lewis Telethon," fundraising event. All you need to do is tune in during the telethon, generally Labor Day weekend, and have some beverage on hand. The game is broken down into three categories: performances, fund raising, and phrases. Here's the rules and how many drinks each one requires: Performances | # of drinks ===================================================|===================== Jerry sings a full song | 2 Jerry sings "You'll Never Walk Alone" | 3 Ed sings a full song | 5 Someone you've never heard of before | 1 A performer who has done nothing new in the past | 15 years (i.e. Wayne Newton, Maureen McGovern, | Glen Campbell, etc.) | 3 A juggler | 1 A magician | 1 Anyone from "a hit Broadway musical" | 2 | | Fund Raising | ===================================================|===================== A switch from "local network" <--> Las Vegas | 2 The local network updates the tote board | 1 Las Vegas updates the tote board | 2 Jerry screams "Oh Yeah!" after L.V. updates | 3 The president/CEO of a large corporation gives | Jerry a check | 3/$1,000,000 (round up) Some toady from a large corporation gives Jerry | a check | 2/$1,000,000 (round up) Anyone else gives Jerry a check | 1/$1,000,000 (round up) A heart-wrenching video clip is shown in Las Vegas | 2 A heart-wrenching video clip is shown locally | 1 The local phone number is given (main number, not | any of the dipshit other numbers) | 1 The 1-800-FIGHT-MD number is given | 1 Phone numbers STOP scrolling across the bottom of | the screen | 1 When the poster child is shown to beg for calls | 1 When a phone operator is interviewed to beg for | calls | 1 When a phone operator does something stupid | "until we get every phone ringing" | 3 When the emcee issues a dipshit challenge ("Let's | get 200 pledges before going back to Jerry!") | 3 When the challenge is met | 1 full beer | | Phrases | ===================================================|====================== "Tympani!" (from Ed) | 2 "Tympani!" (from anyone else) | 3 "...the 40 neuromuscular diseases...." | 1 Anyone names one of the 40+ diseases (DuChen, ALS) | 2 "Jerry's kids" or "....your kids...." | 1 "....----a-thon..." (bowl-a-thon, dance-a-thon...) | 2 "...it is my pleasure to present you with this | check...." (must be these exact words) | 3 Any joke made by Jerry that only Ed laughs at | 1 Any joke made by Ed that only Jerry laughs at | 1 Any joke made that nobody laughs at | 3 Whenever Jerry plugs the name of the hotel | 1 Whenever Jerry mentions the name of a crew member | (producer, director, etc.) | 1 Whenever Jerry thanks his wife | 1 Whenever Jerry thanks a crew member | 1 Whenever anyone thanks Jerry for his work with MDA | 1